What kind of wife do you want to be?

Last week I joined Heather in leading the high school small group in a discussion of Genesis 23, in which Abraham mourns the death of Sarah. In Pastor Justin's lesson, he prompted everyone to think about the kind of husband or wife he or she wants to be. Most of the time, the focus is on the other person - we pray for our future spouses to have the perfect characteristics. In our group, all of the girls admitted to have thought about (and even written about or discussed) what attributes make the perfect guy. It's funny because just prior to this lesson, I'd been thinking that I was unlucky having a boyfriend who wasn't so much into Jesus like I was. I cried a couple nights in a row thinking that maybe he might not be the one for me. Monday night last week, I asked my mom about it, and she told me not to worry - even if he doesn't actively search for a church where he is now, he will when we're together again (we're in a long distance relationship), so it'll be okay then. I was so preoccupied with where it seemed to me that my boyfriend had let me down that I didn't think about my own shortcomings!

Last Tuesday, Heather asked all the girls in our group to think about the kind of wives we want to be, and told everyone to make a list by today. Katie said that she also linked that thought to what type of mother she wants to be, and I think we can agree that also comes to mind when we think about our future families. So I guess I'll share with you some of the things I thought of for my own life.

I want to be patient; sometimes I get frustrated with my boyfriend because he tends to do the "following" when we make plans or he'll be quiet most of the time during our conversations. I also want to be gentle, but also able to discipline (kids). I also want to be a good example to them in how I deal with others (manners are also big for me!). I want to be approachable and loving; I think it's important for a mother to be able to talk with her kids about anything, and the same should apply to a relationship between husband and wife. I want to be honest - sometimes when we tell white lies, they end up doing more damage anyways! I think that being able to communicate well is a big plus in any relationship! Another virtue that comes to mind is the ability to forgive and move on. I tend to hold grudges and remember wrongdoings, so I need to work on that. I also want to be strong for my daughters, if I have any, to show them that women can break negative stereotypes. I want to go the extra mile to make my future husband and children happy. I want to be organized and responsible, carrying out whatever needs to be done and not pushing my burden on others. Most importantly, I want to continue being a Jesus-lover and hope that my husband can see through the way I live my life that I am tuned to God and His word above anything else.

And this is by no means a complete list! I'm honestly rushing to do this blog post before heading off to tonight's student ministries, but have been thinking about it for the past week! Before I end this post, I wanted to share this article. The other day, I stumbled upon "Proverbs 31: Portrait of a Godly Woman." While some of the characteristics found in this chapter are outdated, I think it gives an accurate description of the virtuous woman that all Christian women should strive to follow.

Even though the kids that come to Tuesday night student ministries are middle school-high school age, it's never too early to start thinking about relationships. Today, Pastor Justin will tell us the story of how he met his wife Jenn, and he will ask us to continue thinking about this topic. What characteristics do you want to have as a wife?