Lost

I don't know where I am right now spiritually, just because I feel so lonely as a Christian. I know very few people outside of my family who are just as passionate for Christ as I am (and those people I've found only at EVC). I still feel completely like an outsider when I go to Tuesday night groups, and this is even as a leader. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I still feel unwelcome by the others. Maybe it's because I grew up in an Indo church in which everyone was so fakely friendly and always wanting to get in your business that this semi-veil seems unusual with me.

Being between churches, though (having only attended EVC since last October), I still feel lost. Like I haven't found my niche. I want to continue serving the Lord, and the only way I know I can do that is through youth ministry. And yet, for some reason, I'm not finding that fulfillment. What am I doing wrong? Am I not praying enough? Am I just being really cynical and need to loosen up? Is it just because it's been so long that I was "the new kid" at a church that I just don't know how to immerse myself?